What is friendship? It seems like everyone knows the answer, but when we try to express it in words there is almost nothing more difficult. There are so many essays on friendship, but you can never understand what it is if you do not experience it. Of course, friendship essays are useful, they give advice how to be good friend, how to distinguish true friendship from other kinds of relationships and son. They can help you to understand whether you do something right or wrong, what should you do to keep friendship, but anyway you should feel it yourself. If you have a best friend, you are very lucky. It means you managed to find a person who is ready to support you, help you and always be there for you. It could be best friend essay, but I decided it would be better to give you general idea of what friendship is. So I hope this essay about friendship will be useful for you. Read and enjoy!
What is friendship?
“Friend”, “Friendship”, “Make friends”. What do you mean by these words? Can you give an exact definition to these words?
Every person “faces” friendship in the life. When one has real friends, it influences greatly how much happy he or she feels. But unfortunately sometimes other kinds of relations hide under the guise of friendship, and sometimes as a result person feels deep disappointment. For each of us it is important to know how to distinguished friendship from other types of relations. For this purpose first of all you need to know what friendship is.
Besides, understanding of what friendship is will help you to be a good friend, to make good loyal friends and keep your friendship strong.
Friendship and its features
Friendship is close relationships based on mutual trust, affection, and common interests. Friendship is a deep connection between people that means not only loyalty and mutual help, but also inner closeness, frankness, love.
In the Bible the concept of friendship is expressed with the Greek noun “philia” and the verb “phileo”, which is translated as “to hold dear” (someone). This word means “warmness, closeness and affection”. “Philia” is warm friendly (brotherly) love based on mutual respect. Feeling that appears spontaneously in our hearts.
So we can see that friendship is a feeling, first of all, in particular friendly love. This is not something external, friendship is deep in heart. Second of all, friendship appears spontaneously. You can not make yourself be a friend to someone, or vise versa make someone be your friend. Thirdly, friendship is based on certain grounds that are necessary for its appearing and preservation. These grounds are the following:
- Mutual respect. What does it mean “respect your friend”? It means you should treat him or her respectfully, reckon with his / hers opinion and recognize his / hers positive traits. Respect is expressed in words and actions. A friend, who feels respect, feels that he / she is valued as a person, that his / hers dignity is respected and someone helps him / her not just because of mere sense of duty.
- Trust. Trust means confidence in the honesty and sincerity of a friend, that he / she will not betray or deceive intentionally. Trust does not mean confidence that your friend will never make mistakes, no one is perfect.
These are two basic and main conditions for friendship. Besides it is important for friendship, for example, to have common interests or common moral values. It will be difficult to stay friends for people who have different understanding of what is good and what is wrong. The reason is quite simple: can we show respect to a friend (and maybe trust) when we see that he / she commits acts immoral for us, and thinks there is nothing wrong in it?
Common interests, as we have already mentioned, also contribute to making friends. However for a friendship that lasts for many years and is time-tested, this factor is not very important.
The friendly feelings does not depend neither on the sex of the individual, nor on age. They can be very strong and influence greatly the person’s behaviour and emotional state. Nevertheless, these feelings never include sexual desire (it especially applies to friendship between man and woman).
Distinctive features of friendship (brotherly love)
- it is affection;
- stable (friendly relationships last long and feelings are stable);
- may appear between people of any sex and age;
- can be felt towards a couple of people (but still not many);
- does not have any connection with sexual desires.
Personal qualities useful for friendship
- Sincerity and openness;
- Ability to listen;
- Interest to your friend’s life and feelings;
- Willingness to help and be there in time of need;
- Willingness to forgive;
- Ability to admit your mistakes;
- Ability to take advice;
- Ability to keep secrets.
Develop these qualities and try to show them in everyday life. Insularity, insensitivity, and especially arrogance, indifference and betrayal kill friendship nullifying its base – mutual respect and trust.
What is not friendship
Fellow relationships. One of the most common misbelieves about what friendship is and who friends are is an idea that our friends are those whom with spend much time with, whom we have fun with and have something to talk about. And friendship is a process of such a communication. However, as it follows from the above mentioned, this is not true. Remember: friendship is not communication, not a process and in general not something external. As it was said, real friendship is a feeling that is deep in the heart, it is “filia” or brotherly love towards another person.
It is not necessary at all for a friendship to be directly connected with personal communication or dependent on it. Real friends always stay friends regardless of the circumstances.
Unlike friendship fellow relationships depend on communication, are not connected with feelings and do not raise any mutual responsibilities or affection. Although with fellows we communicate most (and sometimes even share secrets), but “there are fellows who are ready to tear each other apart”. What kind of friendship can be there?
Considering fellow relationships as a friendship may lead to disappointment and deep mental trauma, because as a result of such a relationship you get what you do not expect (or do not get what expect). That is why making fellows do not rush to conclusions that these are your friends for entire life.
Romantic passion. Though there can be both, romantic and friendly relationships between two people, sometimes the first mistaken for the second. In other words sometimes person thinks that he / she has friendly feelings while in fact these are the feelings of desire to get other person’s attention.
Rule 1. Belief in friendship
Belief in friendship means that you should accept friendship as it is without demanding any proof and evidence. This belief is the base of real friendly relationships, on which trust, mutual understanding, mutual help and other essential components of friendship will be built.
Rule 2. Positive qualities development
If a person believe that he / she is able to have friends, he should develop such qualities as courage, fortitude, willpower, stamina, and many others. All together these and other qualities form a strong, stable and integrated personality. If man managed to become such a personality, you can always trust and rely on him / her, what is one of the most important signs of friendship.
Rule 3. Help
Whatever happens, a true friend just has come to the rescue of his friend and help in any possible way. It should not depend on location, busyness, mood or desire. If you know that your friend is in need or needs serious help, you do not have other choice except of helping him in spite of any difficulties.
Rule 4. Self-sacrifice
This rule is perhaps the most important. Partially it deals with the issue of mutual help that we have talked about. But in this case it has other more extend meaning. Self-sacrifice means that a true friend appreciates friendship and other person’s life even more than his own. So in extreme cases, when a friend’s life is in danger, other friend is ready to do everything possible to safe him / her.
These rules and qualities should be followed, let’s say, subconsciously. It means you realize or do not realize them. It can not be like this: “Since today I am a good friend, I will believe in friendship, develop positive qualities, always help and sacrifice my life for a friend”. A person should have all these features, because in such a way he / she expresses attitude towards other people, especially those whom he / she considers to be friends.
So let’s sum up. Real friendship requires mutual efforts. People if they are friends should correctly treat each other, feel mutual liking and desire to help and support each other. In addition such relationships should be kept from both sides. It is very important to feel need in communication, call each other, meet and make some common plans.
However there are cases of unusual friendship. People can make perfect friends having met on the Internet and without seeing each other in real life. Some people keep their friendship on distance. Such friends may not see each other for several months but still their friendship is very strong.
Always remember about your friends wherever you are and wherever they are. Keep in touch with them, let them know that you appreciate them. And the most important is: be ready to be there in any expected and unexpected situation.
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Importance of Friendships
Throughout the many unique and individual experiences I went
through, the friendships that I made were one in a million. These friends
shaped me and formed me in so many ways. I have learned an unfathomable
amount through friendships as well as accumulating a lot of personal growth.
The significance of friendships in my own American experience has taught
me unique lessons, an open mind, respect, growth, and has given me a strong
feeling for who I am.
During my life I have been exposed to many kinds of people of all
ages and ethnicities which have taught me things that I may have never
learned. Thinking back, through all the memories and times, I got a taste
of each persons personality in my personal experiences with them.
I found many of those people who I enjoy to be with because we
share that common ground that lets you be yourself and feel comfortable.
It really feels good to gave friends on the same level as you.
Friendship is a very personal and unique thing. No two relation
between any two people will ever be the same because only those people know
what they have been through or shared together. This is what makes
friendship such an exceptional thing.
A large part of friendship is learning lessons together, and for
almost everything in the world there is a lesson that must be learned.
Learning these lessons through friendships is a very powerful and
exceptional thing. These lessons have varied from one extreme to the other
in my life and have changed and shaped a large majority of my views and
perceptions. Learning any lesson with a friend, be it significant or not,
will bring you closer together; and furthermore that lesson that you
learned was done in your own way which only you will have felt and
experienced. Some important lessons that had precedence in my life were
about life in general, love, happiness, fear and a handful of other
feelings. From the time of my first friend I have begun learning about
life, basically what I like to do and what I am all about. Only when you
can truly be yourself around a person or people is when you start to learn
about yourself. And the thing is that what you did or what you or someone
else did, when it comes down to it, you did it and no one else. No one
else could feel the way you did or acted or reacted the way you personally
did. That aspect makes it more unique than anything else.
So many feelings have been felt by myself about other friends that
it would be impossible to even sum up. A friendship is the only thing that
can teach you some things about yourself, and others as well.
Through friendships I have accumulated a very open-mind by allowing
myself to really get into a person and learn what they are all about. When
you learn a significant amount about other people and their lives, one can
look back and reflect on your own life. I could never walk up to a person
with my head filled with prejudgments. This is based on my own experiences
with so many people where I might of met them thinking something in my head,
but when I really got to know them I was so surprised because they turned
out to be so opposite. I am grateful for the things I have learned from my
friends because some people might never achieve that open mind, but that is
only my unique personal experience.
Many times I wonder how I met some of the people I did or did some
of the things that I did with some people? My personal answer is that I
believe that the people I met and things I did were all meant to happen for
a reason that is unknown to me, but I do know that they were meant to
happen to me and only me. Maybe I am being equipped with knowledge and
experiences that will help me in my future life.
Through my experiences with friends, a major lesson I learned was
respect. A close, strong friendship is a powerful friendship because that
is when you know that you can always count on that person, and through that
aspect a large respect can be formed. When I began to play sports is when
I first felt these feelings of great respect and care for another person.
There is something about sports, the winning together, the losing together,
the good and the bad, that seems to bring people closer together. When
you're playing a football game in the fourth quarter, in the pouring rain
and biting cold, with the sweat stinging your eyes and you need to stop the
other team on the 1 yard line. You look around then and you know who you¹
re friends are. You can know that no matter whether you win or lose, the
team and you¹re friends will still be there. Knowing that makes me feel a
great respect for them.
I have personally grown a great deal through the experiences with
every friendship I have had. And the unique part of that is that the ways
in which I have grown are mine alone and could never be exactly experienced
by another person. By allowing myself to grow with others I have had a
vast number of their experiences in which I could look at and then make my
decision based on what I know from them and myself, where on the other hand
some may only have their own experiences to base their decisions.
In conclusion, the friendships that I personally made were unique
and could never be exactly the same for another person. I have learned an
unfathomable amount about life, love, and everything and that has made me
grow. The significance of friendship in my own american experience taught
me valuable lessons, an open mind, respect, growth and has given me the
basis of who I am today.
Many varied lessons that I experienced with friends have changed
and shaped a large part of my views and perceptions. I found that learning
lessons with friends brings you closer together. Only with a friendship
can some things be felt and learned.
An extremely important thing I got out of friendship was achieving
an open mind. This was achieved through a diverse set of friends that had
a wide range of lifestyles and views, and I got to see them all.
I learned a great respect for my friends and it has made my
friendships strong. Furthermore, I grew a great deal from all the
experiences I went through with my friends. Sometimes a friend is the only
teacher for some lessons. A friendship is something very personal and
powerful and plays an important and unique role in my life.
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